Is There a Condom Shortage?

February is National Condom Month. You know what that means. If you’re single then safety should be your first priority, followed closely by getting off.

I’m not an idiot. I know men are thinking about my pussy more often than they’re paying attention to what I’m actually saying on a date. That’s fine. I want to get off just as much as they do. But even with all those thoughts about sex, most men still never manage to bring a rubber to a potential fuck session. Which makes me wonder if there’s a condom shortage?

Men can be cheap asses but come on condoms don’t cost that much and they even sell them individually. But a lot of men would rather not splurge on a piece of latex in the high (but stupid) hope that a woman won’t mind that his cock is foot loose and fancy free. Luckily, I always have my own personal stash of condoms in all sizes. So if a guy doesn't bring one, then I’ll donate one. But my bedroom is not a Planned Parenthood even though I’m sure I have more condoms on hand than they do. Men need to strap on a pair of balls and start carrying around some trusty Trojans.

One of my bedroom pet peeves is when a guy asks me if he can just stick the tip of his cock inside of me without a condom on. Get some sex education, for Christ’s sake. STD’s don’t care if your penis goes in all the way or not. When I tell them no and to put on a condom my favorite line that I hear a lot from men is, “But you look clean.” I usually laugh at them then jokingly list about five STD’s I have while keeping a straight face. Just because fun zones aren’t covered in blisters, doesn’t mean protection should become optional.

I know men complain a lot about not liking how condoms feel. But cry me a fuckin’ river and go jump in it. I don’t exactly like a dry trash bag rubbing up inside me either. But who wants eighteen years of hell or a short life with AIDS. So think with the right head for once. Don’t be the idiot who chooses to not use protection. Condoms are the least you can do. So do me (and yourself) a favor and go stock up on them because I'm about to run out.

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