Many men want to learn how to have sex like a porn star but that only leads to disaster. They sit themselves on a comfy chair and watch some good ol’ fashioned pornography to “research” all their sex positions. I like my nudies as much as the next pussy, but let’s be real. Porn is about as realistic as Pamela Anderson’s rack. It mostly focuses on men and pleasing the unruly one-eyed snake in their britches. It rarely has little to do with a woman’s sexual satisfaction.
For example, I don’t want to be chocked with a guy’s cock and I don’t want cum sprayed in my face, eyes, or (God forbid) my hair. And don’t even think about slapping your dick against my face! I don’t let guys slap me across my face period so why do guys think it’s okay to slap a girl across the face with their cock?
Somehow through watching porn men got the message that it’s acceptable to treat women like animals. They bang us, flip us, pound us, and bounce us with no concern as to how we feel. Now don’t get me wrong, I like a mind-numbing, meaningless sex session. I don’t need to know your first and last name or where you’re from before I’ll fuck you. But when I do decide to bang you, you can bet your nutsack that I want to get off. It’s not all about you and your joystick; my vagina has needs, too.
Even though porn may be your best friend, men, don’t let it be your sex guide. I don’t want a fuckin’ circus in my bedroom. I’m not a contortionist; so don’t flip my body into positions that even Gumbi couldn’t manage. I know some pornos show women twisted in (God only knows) how many ways, but that’s for all the douches that get their jollies on a woman in pain. That isn’t real life.
I mean, what’s wrong with staying in the same position for a few minutes? I actually like enjoying my lover’s cock; I can’t do that when we’re constantly playing a game of hot potato with your balls.
I never had a guy flip me around so much until I dated this one guy. The first time we had sex, he flipped me around so many times and in so many different positions that my body was sore. My mind was spinning. And my girls were frustrated. My pussy couldn’t enjoy his dick because he was too busy getting in his aerobic workout for the day. I’m sorry but last time I checked, my vadge wasn’t your elliptical.
Our second fuck session, he started moving me all over the place again. It’s like this guy thought I was his dick, he could turn and twist me as much as he wanted. It didn’t take me long to realize this guy had been to Pornography 101. That coupled with his intense case of ADD, and his sexual expectations were as porn-tastic.
I had to slow him and his Johnny Rocket down. He was a great lover, but it took him a while to calm his amped-up dick. Eventually, I had to start taking control to prevent him from fucking me like a jackhammer. I taught him some valuable lessons while we dated. Every woman he fucks seriously owes me.
Take a lesson, men. I know you’ve all been porn-again, but don’t let the fuck sessions on the screen be your guide to sex in the sheets. Let your lady friend actually enjoy your dick. We are likely to fuck again if you just calm the hell down. Experiment with different positions, but be realistic. Remember, we’re only human. Our bodies can’t bend like we’re made of condoms. Take your time; be gentle, and leave the “professionals” to the screens.
- Sienna Sinclaire® - The Single Girl®: Your Naughty Lifestyle Guide
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